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A coparent wont follow plan problem is one of the most stressful parts of life after divorce. A signed parenting plan is not just a suggestion. Once a judge signs it, it becomes a court order. However, many parents learn that a court order does not guarantee cooperation.
Late pickups, missed weekends, and denied phone calls can pile up quickly. As a result, children often feel the strain first. If your coparent wont follow plan terms, you have legal tools to fix it. This guide explains your options, what courts typically do, and how to build a strong record before you file.
What It Means When a Coparent Won’t Follow the Parenting Plan
Not every broken promise is a legal violation. Courts look at the exact wording of your order. For example, “reasonable phone contact” is harder to enforce than “calls every Tuesday at 7 p.m.” In most cases, judges focus on patterns rather than a single late arrival. One missed exchange during a snowstorm rarely leads to penalties. Repeated denial of parenting time usually does.
Common violations include withholding the child, skipping scheduled visits, and moving without notice. Other examples include making major school or medical decisions alone. Some parents also violate orders by talking negatively about the other parent in front of the child. When a coparent wont follow plan provisions repeatedly, the court can treat it as a serious issue.
Keep in mind that child support and parenting time are separate. Typically, you cannot withhold visits because support is unpaid. Likewise, a parent cannot stop paying support because visits were denied. Doing either can hurt your own case.
Legal Remedies When a Coparent Wont Follow Plan Orders
Every state lets you ask the court to enforce a parenting plan. The most common tool is a motion for contempt. To win, you typically must show a valid order existed, the other parent knew about it, and they willfully disobeyed it. Penalties vary by state. In Texas, contempt can bring up to six months in jail and a $500 fine for each violation.
Many states also offer make-up time and other remedies. Florida Statute 61.13(4)(c) lets judges award make-up time sharing, order parenting courses, and require the violating parent to pay attorney fees. Arizona has a specific enforcement statute, A.R.S. 25-414. It allows make-up time, counseling, and civil penalties. Missouri offers a “family access motion” under RSMo 452.400. Missouri courts provide simple forms so parents can file without a lawyer.
| State | Law | Key Remedies |
|---|---|---|
| Florida | Fla. Stat. 61.13(4)(c) | Make-up time, parenting course, attorney fees, schedule changes |
| Arizona | A.R.S. 25-414 | Make-up time, counseling, civil penalty, bond |
| Missouri | RSMo 452.400 | Family access motion, compensatory time, fees |
| Minnesota | Minn. Stat. 518.175, subd. 6 | Compensatory time, civil penalty up to $500, bond |
| California | Fam. Code 3028 | Reimbursement for childcare costs when a parent skips time |
If the coparent wont follow plan terms over a long period, you may also ask to modify custody. Courts in most cases require a substantial change in circumstances. A consistent pattern of interference can meet that standard. As a result, the parent who blocks contact may lose time with the child.
Steps to Take If Your Coparent Wont Follow Plan Schedules
Start with documentation. Write down every missed exchange, late arrival, and canceled call. Include dates, times, and what happened. Save texts and emails. Many courts favor co-parenting apps such as OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents. These apps create timestamped records that are hard to dispute. For example, a log showing 12 missed weekends over six months carries far more weight than a general complaint.
Next, try to resolve it without court when it is safe. Send a calm, short written message. Quote the exact part of the order being ignored. Offer a specific solution. However, avoid arguments or threats. Judges read these messages later. If your coparent wont follow plan requests after that, consider mediation. Many states, including California and Oregon, require or strongly encourage mediation before a custody hearing.
If problems continue, file an enforcement or contempt motion. Filing fees typically range from $0 to about $450, depending on the state. You can ask for a fee waiver if your income is low. Most court self-help centers offer free forms and instructions. An attorney consultation is also wise, especially if contempt or custody changes are on the table.
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Finally, never use self-help tactics. Do not keep the child past your time in retaliation. Do not call police for routine disputes unless there is a real safety risk. In most cases, staying calm and following the order yourself makes you the more credible parent in court.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I call the police if my coparent wont follow plan exchange times?
Sometimes, but police rarely enforce parenting time in routine disputes. Typically, officers will document the incident and advise you to go to family court. However, that police report can still serve as useful evidence later.
Will a judge change custody if a coparent wont follow plan rules?
It is possible, but usually not after one violation. In most cases, judges first order make-up time, fees, or classes. As a result, custody changes tend to follow a long, documented pattern of interference.
How long does it take to get an enforcement hearing?
It depends on your county’s court calendar. Typically, a hearing is set within 30 to 90 days after filing. For example, emergencies involving child safety or abduction risk can be heard within days.
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Official Sources & Resources
For verified divorce and family law information:
- State Court Self-Help: usa.gov/state-courts
- ABA Family Law: americanbar.org
- Office of Child Support Enforcement: acf.hhs.gov/css
- Legal Aid Finder: lsc.gov
Content last reviewed September 2026. If you notice any outdated information, please contact us.